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Joke of the Day

"I don't think anyone would be surprised if Captain Morgan was arrested for Boating Under the Influence."

"One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?"

"I saw a snail driving in a car with a big s on it. It was amazing to see that escargot"

"What's brown and sticky? A stick!"

"When summer comes and California starts burning, try to act surprised."

"What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier? A Drill Sergeant"

"On Halloween I'm going to let kids decide between raisins and a toothbrush so they know what we're going through with this election."

"LeAnn Rimes No, it doesn't."

"What do you call an elephant on drugs? Tranquilized."

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. One person holds the bulb and the other blonde twirls the other blonde around."