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Joke of the Day

"[at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building"

"Julie: What time is it? Counsellor: Three o'clock. Julie: Ohno! Counsellor: What's the matter? Julie: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!"

"I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game."

"Why couldn't the NSA go outside? They were Snowden."

"Have you heard the one about the roof? never mind, just forget about it, it's probably over your head."

"""I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me.""- Damned dog.... Could've been me though."

"If a villain really wanted to kill James Bond, he should just inject HIV into one of his attractive cohorts and then wait."

"Name a sub genre of Engineering PORN Armature"

"The Ravens could have beat the Bengals . . . in an elevator."

"What's invisible and fucks kids? The Zika virus."