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Joke of the Day

"[at a bar] me: hey girl are u a wanted criminal girl: no me: oh ok [to a group of cops] shes not here, search the other building"

"What's the difference between love and herpes? Love doesn't last forever."

"*First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* ""coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"" *gets stabbed*"

"Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach."

"How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb? 11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day... Teach a man to microwave a fish and he'll lose the respect of all his co-workers."

"Why did the contraceptive fly across the room? It got pissed off. . (I'll get my coat...)"

"Ladies, don't be sad if your thighs begin to start touching You're becoming a mermaid!"

"What do you call a field used to grow bows and arrows? An archerd."

"Which actor is resting in pieces? Alan RIPman"