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Joke of the Day
"if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument"
Next Joke
"Two men see a dog licking its nads The first man says, ""I wish I could do that."" The second man says, ""What do you mean? Anyone can lick a dog's nads."""
"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married"
"I'm glad they finally made waterproof phones. Pushing friends into the pool is funny."
"I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists."
"All right stop, coagulate and thicken"
"What's common between a crying baby and a gun? You must not bring either to the movies."
"Bought that new Mac Book Pro today. Apparently they crush up 100 Japanese children's retinas too make the display. Or something. I zone out."
"What do you call someone having butt sex with Stephen Hawking? Ingenius"
"Why was the divorce lawyer pro-gay marriage? Because any marriage is good for business!"