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Joke of the Day
"I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists."
Next Joke
"Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back."
"I do less before 9AM than most people don't do all day."
"SSBM players: what's it called when Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi shoot up a school? Columshine"
"My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week"
"Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone. Me: Oh, sorry. Yes."
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims, they went through 110 stories in 4 seconds"
"What do you call it when 2 homosexuals stare into eachother's eyes? A gaze."
"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire."
"Ripping a blaring fart every now and then lets your masseuse know who's in charge."