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Joke of the Day

"""I want my country back"" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country."

"*mops up wine with cat*"

"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" -FDR ""Exactly."" -everyone with anxiety"

"My favourite 6,835"

"""It's a competition, I didn't come here to make friends."" -- Jerry, the 1st contestant eliminated on this season's ""Friendmakers""."

"I lost my mood ring... And I don't know how I feel about that."

"The human body is 70 percent water?? *looks at a glass of water* damn girl"

"Why was Avogadro executed? He was a mole"

"When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed."

"""Are u going to the circus?"" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife's question: ""how does my make-up look?"""