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Joke of the Day

"When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed."

"Why do men die before their wives? Because we want to!"

"Put yourself in my shoes for a minute... ...Now you're a mile away, and you have my shoes!"

"What's blue and fucks old people? Me in my lucky blue coat."

"What do you call a bra stretched across a road? A booby-trap"

"What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved."

"The full time football result is in: Real Madrid - 4... Surreal Madrid - fish"

"Who was the least funny U.S. President? FDR. His standup could use some work."

"You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux."

"QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people."