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Joke of the Day

"Where do you send Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder? Concentration camp."

"Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time."

"Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth."

"A TCP packet walks into a bar... ... and says to the barmen: ""Hello, I'd like a beer."" the barman replies: ""Hello, you'd like a beer?"" ""Yes,"" replies the packet, ""I'd like a beer."""

"If you ever need someone to look like a complete idiot in your photographs, I'm your guy."

"What do you call two gay scientists breaking up? A homolytic fission."

"Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"What do you call a sleepy Tumblr user? Napkin."

"Nice being home from work so I can finally continue sitting only now it's in a slightly more comfortable environment."

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."