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Joke of the Day
"A watched pot never boils. The same is also true if you forget to turn the burner on apparently."
Next Joke
"What's a Republican's favorite number? ""NEIN!"""
"What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? v2 Allah's Snackbar."
"Me: Play dead My Dog: *drives to my office and starts doing my job*"
"""anyone for turkey burgers?"" turkey: well sure haha ""oh, it's not a burger for turkeys"" turkey: what is it then ""uhh"" turkey: say it"
"Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mother was in a jam."
"100% of car accidents happen within exactly five miles of something. If you're within five miles of anything right now, move."
"COP: Describe the robber to our sketch artist ME: He had one eye higher than the other and his lips on his forehead PICASSO: I got this"
"What is Justin Timberlake's favourite Ukrainian river? The Crimea River."
"Did you hear that Alexander Graham Bell got fired from the theatre? He was always phoning it in."