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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mexican barber? El Chapo"

"When I got depressed, I joined the Army. I didn't have any experience or motivation, I just wanted a soldier to cry on."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? ...Look for the Fresh Prints..."

"Not a very good poem. I dig. He digs. She digs. We dig. They dig. Everyone digs. I know it's not a very good poem, but it's very deep."

"Pull all of your money out of Pepto-Bismol stocks immediately. There's some real liquidity problems over there."

"""Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew"" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?"

"Swimming in the Ocean I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming ""HELP SHARK, HELP!"" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"My therapist cries ""Why me?"" for the full hour."

"What do you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)"

"What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught? You got the Wong guy."