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Joke of the Day

"""I would absolutely say I'm an introvert!"" - Guy screaming to his table full of friends at brunch."

"They are finally letting women go to the ISS About damn time. Some one has to make the men sandwiches up there."

"If women are so equal to men... how come they can't oppress an entire gender?"

"""I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing."" ""That's me- totally normal!"" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*"

"My gf is getting glasses Hey guys - my gf is getting glasses on monday and I need a couple of jokes to fire at her - please do your best "

"I just named two flies in my house Buzz and Buzz Jr. If you want me to come to your house and name shit it's $20/hour."

"Tofu is really overrated It's just a curd to me."

"Ok son, the bad news is, your dog died while u were at school. The good news however, I found a vape pen in a tree mmmm onion flavor"

"ONLY Justin Bieber could make doing drugs look not cool..."

"Finally, GOOGLE will be firmly AHEAD of APPLE... ...ALPHABETICALLY :)"