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Joke of the Day

"Last night my black colleague....... Last night my black colleague walked away with the 'Employee of the year' award. Luckily security stopped him at the door."

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"How much of Canada has a person from Iqaluit seen? Nunavut."
"Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam? Because the top said ""Twist to open."""
"What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf."
"I was roasting meat and accidentally stabbed myself with a meat thermometer and blood is gushing out. I'm done."
"A man's son goes off to join isis. The man laments saying: Why? Jihad so much potential!"
"Grandpa: ""My joints are stiff."" Me: ""Don't roll them so tight."""
"[giving mother in law my famous salad dressing recipe over the phone] 1 part vinegar, then *bites lip so I don't laugh* 2 parts baking soda"
"My grandfather died of asbestosis. Took 6 months to cremate him. This works better in person when you get the other person believing you first."
"[narrating people dancing at a wedding] These humans are using their legs for the first time today"
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