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Joke of the Day
"Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam? Because the top said ""Twist to open."""
Next Joke
"What do you call a guy who peeps his peeps? A homeboyeur."
"My cat thinks any questions I ask him are rhetorical."
"Why are crabs always tired? Because they sleep in snatches."
"""Very colorful, fun. I'd put it in my mouth"" ""A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I'd put it in my mouth"" -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor"
"I have a serious self-loathing problem! Trust me to say that..."
"Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone... What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?"
"Maybe my threats will be more effective if, after I mentioned all the people I've killed, I don't say, ""in RuneScape."""
"You look like I could use some sex."
"Donations Son: ""Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."" Father: ""Okay, give him a glass of water."""