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Joke of the Day

"Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing."

"Where does a guru get his sandwiches? New Delhi"

"Where do Grape Nuts come from? Boy grapes."

"What do accountants use for birth control? Their personalities."

"Feudalism It's your count that votes."

"who called it your 4th stepfather instead of mom beau number 5"

"Yes, they're good. But mangoes act like they know they're good, and that's unappealing to me."

"My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country."

"(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John."

"What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked? He couldn't think of anything, and said ""I'll mullet over"""