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Joke of the Day
"I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you."
Next Joke
"I don't know what to do when someone yells stop Is it hammer time? Is it in the name of love? Do I collaborate and listen?"
"[helping my kid with contractions] Me: Would've Her: Would have M: Nice. I'll H: I will M: Good. Won't H: Won not M: Excellent"
"Now that dogs have been shown to be able to sniff out cancer, is this the end for the cat scan?"
"I'm thinking about opening a veterinary clinic for female dogs with broken legs. Gonna call it ""Bitches Be Trippin"""
"Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships. A2, Brute?"
"Help! I'm 13 and want to get preggo .....but my boyfriend wants Ragu."
"Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side"
"My girlfriend asked me if I felt like aural. I think that's where it goes in one ear and out the other."
"How to lose an argument with a woman: 1) Argue."