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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokemon players? 2) do I care?"

"Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro"

"My relationship is like 2 Girls 1 Cup It started off beautifully but got shitty real quick."

"How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? I couldn't unscrew your mom."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"Some of you have had some fabulous public meltdowns this year. From all of us, thank you x"

"Boss: Why weren't you at work last week? Me: Why are you living in the past?"