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Joke of the Day

"phone call Wife: Want a free couch? Me: Free? Yes! Wife: How do we pick it up? Me: Lift with your legs, not your back. Wife: *click*"

"You are the pebble in my shoe of people."

"* during an interview * Interviewer: ""So how long were you employed in your last job?"" Candidate: ""I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."""

"What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card? I love the pokey, mon."

"I have been having a lot more threesomes as of late. Ever since my wife got pregnant."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? : walnuts. What do you call nuts on a chest? : chestnuts . What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink"

"I ran into my old girlfriend at the airport, boy she has a lot of baggage."

"Never trust an asshole. They're often full of shit. ^^^Sorry"

"What is the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family."