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Joke of the Day
"What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July? Hillary."
Next Joke
"What kind of hair do oceans have? ...Wavy hair."
"Our cats aren't enjoying the 90-degree heat. But I refuse to apologize for climate change until they apologize for pissing on the carpet."
"A dog limps into a saloon and says ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw""."
"I knew you were trouble when you said you didn't drink."
"Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud"
"What's the difference between an eight-ball of cocaine and a pre-pubescent boy? Eric Clapton wouldn't let an eight-ball of coke fall out a hotel window."
"Son, there's the house where I grew up. And I bought a Playstation at that Best Buy in 1996. Well, that's pretty much the tour"
"*wife grabs my wrist as I go overboard* Her: You're... slipping... Me: Pretend I'm the covers. *she easily pulls me to safety with one arm*"
"LPT: If your girl ever asks you which of her friends you want to have a three-way with, DO NOT GIVE HER TWO NAMES!"