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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse at a hospital? She's the one with the dirty knees."

"The last time I danced at a party, someone told me I looked like a wildebeest on a frozen lake."

"How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget? The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring."

"Girls can be so ungrateful sometimes... I made breakfast in bed for her and instead of saying ""Thank you"", she was all shouty like ""How the hell did you get in my house...?"""

"Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!? The answer: AMERICA!!!"

"What is the friend zone? It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend."

"What's the bro-iest airport in the US? LAX"

"How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there! I've killed 15 zombies so far! And why the hell are they all carrying candy?"

"My girlfriend is like a goddess... My friends and family don't believe she exists."

"Nine out of ten men prefer women with big breasts... the tenth man prefers the other nine."