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Joke of the Day

"Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!? The answer: AMERICA!!!"

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you fuckin racist."

"A man walks into a bar So a man walked into the bar carrying a roll of Tarmac. He orders one pint and one for the road."

"What crime did the impotent rapist commit? Viagra-vated Assault."

"A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?"

"Why do more men die in car crashes than woman? Because women are at the wheel."

"Where did Stephen Hawking find his wife The vegetable isle"

"*holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again."

"People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, ""Thanks!""--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing."

"Why do tectonic plates wear diapers? Because they're in continents."