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Joke of the Day

"How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget? The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring."

"What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch? Namaste"

"You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school."

"So a quadriplegic amputee went... Absolutely nowhere."

"you can't watch porn on the new iphone they took the jack off"

"""Honey, we're out of bootleg DVDs, and Samurai swords."" - Flea Market attendees."

"Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range."

"How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day? Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours."

"""Pistorius"" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine"

"I never point out when someone's zipper is down. I just zip it up for them."