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Joke of the Day

"For Christmas my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. So I bought her a scale."

"A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies ""No I'm traveling light"""

"I was playing charades with a deaf guy Or as he called it, ""having a chat""."

"At School: What Does It Give You? ""Kids, what does the chicken give you?"" ""Meat!"" ""Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"" ""Bacon!"" ""Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"" ""Homework!"""

"My wife is SO immature... I was upstairs taking a bath, and she walks in, and for NO REASON WHATSOEVER she sunk all my boats."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has its claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"How does Bob Marley like his biscuits? Wit jam in?"

"HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA GET YOUR VACCINE AT WALGREENS TODAY"

"Guess what? Chicken Butt."

"Women can split open our bodies & chuck living human beings out of our midsections so how about you go ahead & pay us as much as men."