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Joke of the Day

"Is the reason why all of the Pokemon professors are named after trees because They embark you on your journey?"

"I used to have a desk with great selfie lighting and then I changed jobs for personal fulfilment. I wouldn't recommend it."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl peeing? Because P is silent."

"If Obama wins I'm leaving the country. If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political Tweet I just want to travel."

"I schedule my appointments for 9:11 so I never forget."

"*at psychic reading* Psychic: you probably think you're wasting your time Me: Ooh you're good"

"An Italian woman walks in on her husband giving a man a ""Golden Shower"". In her dumbfounded state, the shocked woman could only think of one thing to say. ""European!"""

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meowntain"

"What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter? Best vicious . . ."

"Have you heard about what happened to that biggest sausage party last weekend? Nobody came."