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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? ""I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man"" *under his breath* holy shit he's good"

"I always used to ask my mom if I could lick the bowl... ... She'd always say ""No! Just flush it like a normal person!"""

"Redditors don't like this [Deleted]"

"What's the difference between a hockey player and my exgirlfriend? A hockey player will shower after 3 periods."

"Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?"

"What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily? Amoxicillin"

"Looking for a joke: irish dinner potatoe Pretty close, but need to know the exact joke about irish dinner consisting of potatos and beer"

"Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I'd left open. Well played."

"Did you hear about Stevie Wonder getting a cheese grater for his birthday? He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

"9/10 Redditors are idiots I'm glad to be the 1%"