170415

Joke of the Day

"I always used to ask my mom if I could lick the bowl... ... She'd always say ""No! Just flush it like a normal person!"""

"""Was that lightning?"" No... they're taking pictures for google earth."

"And the Lord said, 'Let there be idiots.'"

"Why was the mushroom a hit at parties? Because he was a *fungi*"

"GF: I'm sick of communicating via walkie talkies. I think we should breakup ME: we should breakup what? OVER GF: its over ME: its what? OVER"

"I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH."

"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."

"Trump didn't lie when he said Mexico was going to pay for the wall... by securing his win, Mexico will start building to keep the Americans out of their country."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation."

"7yr old: What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1? Me: Math"