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Joke of the Day

"Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?"

"What's long, hard, black, wet, and full of seamen? A submarine, you dirty fuck."

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."

"I just heard a guy arguing with his oven. Things got pretty heated."

"When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running."

"Post some more song lyrics as your status. Someone will eventually understand your struggle."

"""How about know"" -existentialist teen"

"Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search."

"So I was walking down the street... and this guy with premature ejaculation just came out of nowhere."

"I am never going to procrastinate again... Starting next semester"