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Joke of the Day

"Told my boss the salary I want when I move to California. Him: so you want the moon and all the stars too? Me: and Saturn."

"What do condoms prevent? Minivans."

"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"

"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."

"A polite penis stands up when a lady wants to sit down"

"The shortest sentence in the English language is ""go."" What is the longest? Life without parole"

"Why are A's like flowers? Because B's go after them!"

"Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal."

"THIS GIRL IS WEARING PINK CAMOUFLAGE WHERE ARE THERE PINK FORESTS"

"Great news insomniacs! Only 12 sleeps til Christmas."