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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick."

"Croatian salary is like menstruation You get it once a month, it lasts 5-6 days and then you're fucked"

"Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth."

"Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He's very serious about trying to make the USA grate again."

"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall... ...I said maybe."

"Why did the Chinese almost lose in Mulan? They had way to many chinks in their armor."

"If I've learned anything in life, it's that not enough people are at a loss for words."

"Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry? Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian."

"I bought a racehorse today and I named him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, ""Come on My Face."""

"Why did the lizard go on a diet ? It weighed too much for its scales !"