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Joke of the Day

"Croatian salary is like menstruation You get it once a month, it lasts 5-6 days and then you're fucked"

"""that's the power of German engineering"" is a great slogan for your product if you're selling fear"

"Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym."

"What's the difference between George Michael and Carrie Fisher? Two days."

"How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests? What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest"

"After his wedding, Chuck Norris sent ""You're Welcome"" cards to all of his guests."

"Why did God have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put Uranus at the end of the solar system"

"What do you call a retarded kid with no arms and one leg. Names."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, feminists can't change anything."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night."