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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW?) What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me I'm going in"

"What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe."

"What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise? The captains log"

"What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal? ""It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"""

"Apparently I have a few ""tells"" when I'm angry. But I light things on fire when I'm happy too so don't pretend you know me."

"All it takes is a ""food dreadful, service poor"" Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner."

"44 of my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures. My life is fucking insane."

"2 yr old just made me wish I was 2 again: ""I had a dream I was walking down the street and didn't have to hold anyone's hand"""

"What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe."

"How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them."