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Joke of the Day

"Every time I listen to oldies I'm like, ""These people didn't even have cellphones. What the fuck do they know about love?"""

"Mrs. Claus gave birth on the 24th of December I guess you could say Santa came early this year."

"North Korea is back online after internet outage. Sources say South Korea changed the wifi password."

"The neighbors are looking at me strangely again. Like they have never seen a man sitting on his roof with a pair binoculars before."

"Economic research Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle attract the most interest."

"Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you're suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone."

"Why are some people so afraid of second dipping when they probably put their mouths on someone's genital before?"

"Wanna hear a joke? Sanctity of marriage. OH!"

"Lady GaGa is easily the scariest of all the Muppets."

"""Oh man, that thing looks irritated"" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb"