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Joke of the Day

"""Oh man, that thing looks irritated"" - me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb"

"How do you make a dead baby float? two scoops of ice cream one scoop of dead baby root beer"

"Men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never enough memory."

"What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet!"

"In the future when cats rule the world, the currency will be Cuteness and i will be a poor and lonely man"

"When Chuck Norris is pulled over, cops show him their IDs"

"Made up my own joke today when visiting my brother. I like my coffee like I like my woman. Made by your grandmother. Yes we do your mamma jokes even though we're brothers."

"New band. I'm starting a new band with 5 homosexual Mexicans. Juan Direction."

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"Want to hear a joke about coffee? Decaf."