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Joke of the Day

"Why are some people so afraid of second dipping when they probably put their mouths on someone's genital before?"

"When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV? During PRIME time!"

"Black lives matter But only three fifths as much"

"Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway"

"Whenever my grandma comes to visit and I hear a loud thud from upstairs, I go for a coffee and think about the cool stuff I just inherited."

"You can have any movie from Rick Astley's Pixar collection, except for one He's never gonna give you Up. ^^^^^^sorrynotsorry"

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"I got my dog from an orphanage like, two years ago. Those orphans STILL hold a grudge."

"The gas station air pump costs a dollar because air doesn't grow on trees."

"By reading this tweet, you have earned a masters in communication from Stephen Colbert ""University."" Standard text messaging rates apply."