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Joke of the Day

"I hate all 1970's female solo artists What a bunch of pre-madonnas"

"A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole"

"My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid."

"Bought my dad a pair of Crocs for his birthday, then pushed him down a flight of stairs for looking stupid in them."

"Why is Divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Marque and reprisal."

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"What is harder than telling the difference between Chinese people? Telling the difference between Chinese people with down syndrome."

"Did you hear about the attempted shooting at the 2015 Pokemon World Championship? The gunmen tried to escape, but luckily, officers were able to catch'em all."

"Religion is like a man's penis. It's okay to have one, it's fine to be proud of it, but don't go around shoving it in people's faces and jamming it down children's throats."