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Joke of the Day

"I got offered a job at McCormick... ...but it was just seasonal work."

"My sister asked her husband to help wrap (presents) So he said ""then throw down a beat"""

"Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a child? Well he is back in town and wants you to give him a call."

"Have you heard of the man that walked all day and only moved two feet? .....That's all he had."

"NSA's pick up lines: ""Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location"" ""I'd tap that"" ""I know exactly where you have been all my life"""

"George washington said ""We would have a black president when pigs fly!"" ... well, swine flu."

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"How does Kim Kardashian like her eggs? Over-Yeezy. ^forgive ^me"

"Oscar Pistorius found guilty of murder Police say he is now on the run."