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Joke of the Day

"Think the walk of shame sucks now, imagine doing it in the 80s in corduroy pants. Everyone heard you leaving."

"Who is the king of the pencil case? The Ruler"

"How do you make endocrine? Endocrine is not a hormone."

"My stepdaughter said the Justin Bieber movie is rated R because people will faint when they see him. I stabbed her with my car keys."

"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"

"truth is, nobody can parkour better than squirrels.. nobody"

"Some people wake up in the morning & are all like ""omg I'm the luckiest person in the world"" and I wake up all like ""oh my god"""

"Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome."

"Me: yes, I'll take the free burger Cashier: sir, you have to buy one to get one Me: I only want one though, the free one"

"Why did the banker resign? His customers lost interest in him."