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Joke of the Day

"George washington said ""We would have a black president when pigs fly!"" ... well, swine flu."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."

"How does Peter Pan fly? If someone hit you in the Peter with a Pan, you'd fly too."

"Let me put things into perspective for you. persp(things)ective"

"My wife said she was hungry and told me to order food... So I got us a hooker cuz I heard great things about their seafood buffet."

"""I piss off a lot of deaf people when I talk"" -Italians"

"Did you hear about the drug addict who went to court for flipping off the cops? It was a case of two birds one stoner"

"I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say ""let it go"" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography."

"Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said ""son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"""

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"