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Joke of the Day

"I grew up near the man with the record for most concussions. He was just a stone's throw away."

"Mama Pig has a great new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor."

"What N word do you not want to call a black man? Neighbor"

"Driving Wizard A wizard is driving down the highway, a man try's to merge into his lane in front of him. The wizard speeds up and yells out the window, ""You shall not pass!"""

"My ex-girlfriend was a slut. She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please."

"Q: Why is a blonde like Australia? A: They're both down under and no one cares."

"Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you for a green rabbit."

"Answering all the 'how r u' DM's with 'I got my period' is going surprising well"

"Think of all the new jobs Trump will bring to America: Wall builders, death squad patrollers, bounty hunters and immigrant poachers."

"Susan froze to death. She was cremated It's what she would have wanted."