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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is a blonde like Australia? A: They're both down under and no one cares."

"""do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?"" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it"

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A watermelon."

"So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?"

"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."

"At least Mexicans make good immigrants and don't bomb nobody."

"Why did Hitler fail math? He couldn't reach the final solution."

"Did you see the recent movie about the rabbi? I forget which part they cut out."

"I'd date me. But mainly because I put out."

"That's not what he meant!"