76428

Joke of the Day

"Why was the man suspicous about the tree? I dunno, it seemed a bit shady."

"Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path. Me: I eat like this everyday."

"How do you know princess diana had dandruff? Because her head and shoulders were on the dashboard."

"Why does Middle Eastern civilization have no major accomplishments? ."

"*gets into canoe* Guide: Ok, everyone grab an oar! *gets out of canoe*"

"""I like my women how I like my sunglasses... Sitting on my face..."""

"I cast a spell on a girl today and it actually worked! I focused in on the girl and said ""Virginus Protectus."" It worked because she walked away with a terrified look on her face."

"After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic. Idk. I just really like cats"

"Rodney Dangerfield: ""Y'know, my wife and I, we never have sex... ... we get undressed, we can't stop laughing."""

"BUNNIES: I love hopping! SNAKE WITH BUNNY EARS ON A POGO STICK: Haha yes, but shouldn't we get home and check on our delicious babies?"