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Joke of the Day

"Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"

"What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !"

"Sexism Hurts Everyone I mean, I'm a sexist, and I can't get a girlfriend, so who the fuck is going to do my laundry?"

"What's Vladimir's favorite song? Putin on the Ritz"

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."

"Looking for jokes that will make a girl laugh I like this girl and I hear she likes hearing jokes. I need the funniest jokes that will make her laugh."

"A dead-beat Dad is on AskReddit... He opens a thread asking ""Will my father ever love me?"" He hides the child comments."

"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."

"Boyfriend wants me to eat loads of purple candy so I can ""dye"" his balls for Easter. He better trim the grass first."

"I just lost my virginity!!!! April fools *sob*"