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Joke of the Day
"Why did the chicken cross the road? because it was being chased by Mila Kunis."
Next Joke
"Hawaiian terrorists be like... Aloha Akbar"
"I can't stop telling people how modest I am."
"If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself."
"You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over"
"which Baldwin went to school? The smart Alec."
"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""
"If a guitar player is a guitarist, and a piano player is a pianist, what's the term for someone who plays the banjo? Racist"
"Who would steal an artificial leg? I'm stumped."
"A man was about to jump off a cliff... ...and before he jumped he said, ""I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"" I think he took a leap of faith."