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Joke of the Day

"If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself."

"Unless you met your spouse while committing a diamond heist, I don't need to hear how you got together."

"I like my cream like I like my slaves Whipped"

"Just took a 70% lean meatloaf out of the oven, and now it's supposed to ""rest"" because in America even our food is fat and lazy."

"Is that a booger in your nose? No, it's snot."

"How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel."

"What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst"

"What's the difference between a Vagina and a Refrigerator? A Fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber He had Loco motives"

"How do you give a quadriplegic a headache? Ask him to hold open the elevator door"