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Joke of the Day
"Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices"
Next Joke
"do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify"
"If Hillary wins the election, emails be like... [removed]"
"Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I'm bringing you back from the dead!"
"*delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* Nurse 1: I'm exhausted. Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day."
"You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!"
"You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person"
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he's out standing in his field."
"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."
"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."