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Joke of the Day

"The worst part of a Halloween party with a bunch of techies is bobbing for apps."

"Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's some obscure number.. You've probably never heard of it"

"asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it's her floss"

"Why can't you have Christmas dinner in the EU? Because there is no Turkey"

"[on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*"

"I wanted to rope down this mountain... but I found it quite rappelent."

"Name your child autocorrect, because eventually they'll just finish your sentences and correct you every chance they get too."

"I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex. he is a small arms dealer."

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."