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Joke of the Day
"This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that I drank too much"
Next Joke
"If it comes down to Joe Biden vs Donald Trump we should just accept our fates & let a chili dog eating contest determine who's president."
"""Gangnam Style / Schneider, Rob / 9/11 / Inside Job"" - my new version of ""We Didn't Start the Fire"""
"I only believe 2 things 1. Respect a woman that says no 2. Never take no for an answer"
"What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"
"Pros are good and cons are bad, so... What's the opposite of constitution?"
"What's the difference between an oyster fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? The oyster fisherman shucks between fits."
"I'm 5'5"" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things."
"Teacher: What comes after 69? Student: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out."
"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"