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Joke of the Day

"Just saw Elle Fanning. I was blown away."

"My dad wore my mom's clothes and vice-versa. Really didn't want to see them like that. To me, they were trans-parent"

"I once went five years without having sex then I turned six and my uncle raped me"

"Nobody gets treated worse than a McDonald's worker who gets an order wrong. ""Um this was SUPPOSED to be a LARGE fry! UnFUCKINGbelievable!"""

"The Detroit Lions"

"I really wish my coworker would stop asking me so many god damn work related questions while I'm staring at my phone"

"i like my women like i like my coffee silent"

"cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice"

"I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes."

"I am rarely judgmental, but I do scowl, and shake my head slowly in disapproval whenever I see a vegan biting its nails."