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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Smackhead kick the habit? He didn't like nuns."

"On a scale from 1 to... On a scale from 1 to 16, how illegal was she?"

"Do vegans get paid hourly or celery? That's it. That was the joke. No witty punchline or anything like that. Sorry."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now"

"Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to ""make elephant! Now teapot!"" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball."

"What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!"

"What do you call a torturer who says a lot of puns. A PUNisher"

"I have an Asian cat. Her name is Mi Yao."

"I like my women like I like my Little Caesar's pizza- Hot & Ready."

"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer."