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Joke of the Day
"What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison?? Chili CON Carne!"
Next Joke
"Two ships crashed in the night one ship was carrying red paint the other blue The survivors were marooned"
"[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma."
"Two cows are standing peacefully on a hill. ""Moo"", pipes up the first cow. The second cow turns to her and says ""BITCH, I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!"""
"Why do you never hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent..."
"Tequila is just the grown up version of choose your own adventure books."
"I'm going to start a business in India, but have technical support staff in Boston. See how those fuckers like it."
"Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix."
"What kind of woman are the most irrational? The ones with the golden proportions!"
"I'v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He's gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I'm showing these emails to his wife."