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Joke of the Day
"Why did the vampire feel tired after dinner? All the blood had rushed to his stomach."
Next Joke
"What's an archaeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."
"Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know..."
"It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra."
"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning"
" Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can't hear a word you're saying!"
"I took my girlfriend home to meet the family My wife went fucking ballistic"
"I'm upset. I'm two years into engineering school and... I haven't even started learning how to drive a train"
"On the Mexican side of the US-Mexico border, there are guards. On the US side, there are trampolines."
"If someone brought me coffee right now I would follow them around like an imprinted baby bird forever."