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Joke of the Day

"Finally saw the new Batman. SPOILER ALERT: the Bane character is up to no good."

"I had a break up with my clone the other day... I was being sincere by saying, Its not you, its me."

"What does Stalin do on a night out? Paints the town red"

"WHEN WIFE SINGING When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"I don't need a stable relationship, I just need a stable internet connection."

"It's impossible to have an *ok* time on a trampoline. It's either the most fun you've ever had or you go to the hospital."

"Charles Manson not only got a woman while in prison, but a woman that only wanted him for his body. Screw Tinder, I'm going to prison."

"Research says that if you're afraid of spiders, you're most likely to find them in your bedroom. I'm afraid of men with accents so..."

"What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer..."

"My grandma caught me masturbating and she had a stroke... She has such soft hands..."